HAPPY NEW YEAR! (even though its still not it!)

eu tou muito depre hj… i feel so weird…. i mean this year is over… so many things happened so many changes, so many different things, so mnay situations…. i cant belive its over.. i dont want it to be over.. im all sentimental because im scared of what might come next, im scared of all the new things that 2002 might bring…

Im not scared of the world ending (Ïts the end of the world as we know it) because i know that is all bullshit….. im not scared of World War 3 (it would make me really sad if that happened but im not scared of it!) ….

Im scared of losing people that mean a lot to me…. im scared of the futile life i might be getting into.. im scared of losing the love of my life because im too blind to see the truth… im scared of losing a once in a lifetime opportunity of having the time of my life.. im scared of making the wrong choices, trusting the wrong people, making the wrong moves….. im scared of what might happen to my country…. im scared of growing old… im scared of being someone i hate …. im scared for my friends, for the life they live… im scared of crying even though thats the only thing i want to do right now (but dont want peoiple asking what the hell is wrong with me…)… im scared of my dreams which lately are turning more into nightmares… im scared of the stupid visions i keep on having while i take showeres where people die in front of my eyes…. im scared of never fucking my boyfriend ever again (not because he is far away but because im scared that he has someone else back at uni)…. im scared of death (something that to me before was nothing important……IM SCARED OF DEATH and i feel it so close to me lately!)…

Ive been having weird days lately (as u can see) where weird things happen, i have dreams which make me think about so many people i had forgotten about and so many things that scare me, annoy me……. i also keep seeing things that arent there…. i keep on picturing a series of events in my head….

i think i might be pregnant….. my feelings are sooooooo confusing…..

“and where are you now… now that i need you?”

i hate human beings…….. … have you seen the mess thats going on in my country?? (argentina for those who dont know) how can they be so fucking brutal?? so fucking narrowminded, stupid…… ive been having endless fights with my dad because im pissed off and sad and disconformed with what is going on.. with the actions people take.. with the policemen that died …. with the people protecting robbers….

I HATE IT ALLL…….

im sad…

i want my gordo in my life…. and he is far… and i feel everything is ending………..

bom tou em casa agora, em punta.. tou insolada cara.. tomei muito sol hj e tou pretona… this better last for lots and lots of days because i dont want to go back to my all year round green colour!!!

eu tinha um monte de coisas pra contar e tudo mais mas achu q eu eskeci tudo… tipo i was so sure i had stuff to write but now theres nothing…..

eu vi minha family nas argentina e percebi how idiotic they are…

eu vi as meninas tbm…. a Lolita vai passar carnaval comigo, meu pai decided q ele quer q ela va pro Rio…… ele adora ela……

tou com muito headache……. e uma merda… nunca vou conseguir write properly aki.. toda vez q eu sento aki eu passo mal, ou brigo com meus pais, ou a nert naum funciona… ugh..

as pessoas q eu mais care about tao sumidas,..

vou indu

beso

Tou na casa dos meu sprimos e naum da pra escrever muito…

i was meant to write before wuano eu tva em punta mas naum deu….. agota tou em Buenos aires, morrendo de calor.. um puta sol e visitando a family.. (faz anos q naum vejo tudo mundo… tipo i only com here every now and again!!)

tou no quarto da minha priminha agora, tao brincando com o hamster e meu primo ta me zoandO!!

depois eu escregop mais….. tenhu varias coisas importantes pra prost!!! so keria falar

MERRY XMAS

O que sabes fazer agora

Veio tudo de nosssas horas

eu naum miinto, naum sou assim

ninguem sabia e ninguem viu

que eu estava ao teu lado, entao

sou fera, sou bicho

sou anjo e sou mulher

sou minha mae e minha filha

minha irma, minha menina

mas sou MINHA, so minha

e nao de quem quiser

sou deus, tua deusa, meu amor

Tou em punta nesse momento.. mas tou meio depre…. na verdade eu naum keria tar aki.. eu prefiriria tar em sampa com toda a galera q chegou de viagem e com todos meus amigos spending some quality time (which we havent been able to do so for a long time!!)

cheguei hj e tou mo cansada… tou com duas meninas e um menino da graded…. hj eles vem durmir aki em casa mas achu q nem rola sair por que tou muito tired.. se bobiar eu vou dar as chaves de casa pra eles poder sair e voltar whatever time enquanto isso eu durmo…

eu tou muito mal por varias coisas.l.. eu tou me sentidno muito lonely… naum sei por que… eu sei q deveri anuam me sentir assim, quarta feira mo proved q naum tou alone, eu falei q ia embora e um monte de pessoas vieram pra falar good bye… i should be so grateful for that (and i am!!!) mas eu me sinto alone right now…. like i dunno…. im a freak in this world.. eu tou me sentindo como se eu fissesse tudo errado and the world is punishing me so hard for that (dont ask me why i feel this i just do!!)

eu tou me sentinod mal tbm por causa da argentina,… toda vez q eu vejo as imagems do que ta rolando la eu comeco a chorar…eu tou muito touched por tudo q ta happening… im not really into politics and im not really into politival problems, social problems or anything like that… mas so de ver tudo q ta rolando ta hurting me so much, and the worst thing is that i dont see it getting any better any time soon, im starting to think this ios the begining of the second downfall of argentina (argentina was shit with the militars on power!!)

esse keyboard do laptop e muito bom.. tou typing puta fast!!

eu achu q naum vou morar mais na argentina… meus pais tao cada dia mais convinced disso, e eu tou comecando achar q e the best optioon tbm!!

q saco naum da pra fikar conected e carregando a pilha do laptop!!!!!!!!!

vou indu ver tv!

smax

Ontem teve um goodbye party pra mim no Vivo… (detalhe q ja nao sei mais se vou imbora ou naum do jeito q ta o pais todo zoado… pais being argentina!)

meu fui muito legal cuz i got to see a bunch of people i hadnt seen in ages…, lots of people i invited came and it was sooo much fun!! im soo happy!! eheh…umas 26 pessoas foram.. muito bom!!!

tenhu q correr.. tou de toalha sentada na fernte do comp quando deveria tar no work!

besito

ontem tive um dia louco….

eu tava com as meninas do trampo super boba sem nocao, rindo e zoando muito…..

tinha dentistas mas o transito me proibiu de chegar ate la.. fazer o que ne?? bom… fui pro shopping iguatemi encontrar umas pessoinhas la.. alias eu econtrei mais gente do q eu queria!!! umas pessoas q naum era pra encontrar!!

eu econtrei o gabe.. that was goo though! o cara sumiu.. ta working e fica correndo de um lado pro outro ignorando os seus amigos!! HUMPFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…. ehehhe

eu ia sair prum bar com os meninos mas naum deu.. tipo minha mom naum deixou e eu tava morrendo de sono!!

eu fiquei com o gordo a tarde inteira.. fizemos varias coisas… eu tou muito in lovey dovey com ele..!! eheheh.. fizemos varias coisas which i can include him as being MY FIRST TO…….. eu tou dolorida… naum consigo walk.. ehehe eu fui descabacada novamente… eu achava q isso naum podia rolar.. mas e q serio, eu voltei a ser virgem e ontem i lost it all again… eu tou falando muito serio q doeu (naum muito, mas doeu um poquito!!)!!

a Ro ta brava comigo por q eu naum vou pro Hopi Hari hj com ela e a galerinha.. mas meu, meu pai nunca vai me deixar cabular work pra ir zoar por ai… eu ate tentei falar pra ele mas ele nem deu bola, pedi ajuda pra minha mom e ela ja foi falando q nem adiantava pedir por q ele ia falar q naum…. acho q so rolaria mesmo de ir nas ferias!!

tou ligando prum monte de pessoas deixando recados.. mo folgada eu!!

bom gotta get dressed e ir pro trampo

smaxxxxxx

Eu odeio quando as pessoas entram no meu blog e naum deixam messages.. tipo.. leave messeges dammit!!

eu tou brava com o gordo…..

a ro me mandou um card muito lindo de natal q me fez chorar…. ela me chmaou de crianca ehehehehe mo legal!!!!

I was happy last nite…

I had seen GORDO after 3 months and everythingw as fine…. we kissed and hugged and talked and kissed some more and i was so happy he was back.. i wantd him all for me and didnt want to let go….

after sometime together he had to go see his friends… i came back home and told him to call me……… at about 10 pm (when i was about to go to bed) i called his cellphone, he didnt pick up.. i called and called and called and nothing… this is what he normally did when he was doing something he knew would piss me off…… woke up this morning really pissed off and to top it all he didnt even call me back later on.. nothing, he just disapeared…… im soooooooooooooooooooooooooo pissed off… no idea of how pissed off i am…

i was going to go to his house today to wake up and be all over him… fuck it.. i cant be arsed… before he left i would probably go running to his house even though he didnt call… right now… i wont… if he doesnt care enough about me im not going to care enough about him…. he has 3 days to spend with me and it seems as if he has better things to be doing…. if it’s so.. i also have better things to be doing then…

hate guys