ALGUIEN
Alquien que me diga, que me diga
Lo que quiero escuchar
Alquien que me cuide y que me hable
Que me lleve a donde va
Alguien que me quiera y que me lleve a buscar
No debe ser tan dificil encontrar…
Alguien que me lleve a buscar…
…..
lie to me… i promise i’ll believe, but please don’t leave
next time ask me to stay
I came, I conquered, I panicked
yet again.. after going out in punta, drinking way too many vodka + speed, driving around, socializing, bla bla bla… i come home drink water and sit in front of the laptop to type…
the things i write hardly ever make it here…
grrrr
i hate myself… i hate my flirty personality, i hate being touchy, i hate being provocative, i hate being shy in the fucking WRONG moments… i just hate the package that i am… all i get is guys staring at my boobs and 17 year old girls asking me where i buy my clothes…
i feel cheap
but anyways, this post is going the wrong way because it wasnt supposed to be about cheap connie….
it was supposed to be about how i got wonderfully out of a situation i didnt wanna get out of… ill just go to bed thinking it was all for the better right??
thats the only way im going to get some sleep tonight…..
agh
YOU are always on my mind
Hey Michel how’s life are you ok?
Ctrl + V of an email i wrote to him…. 
i was missing you u little thing!
———–
how r u??
i was thinking of you the other day, i went to LA for my holidays and was hanging out with my ex (naidh, lembra? my first boyfriend, he took the pic where you say i look great) and he asked about you… and it got me wondering where u were…
ahaha read my mind again i guess…
so:
1. heyyyyyyyyy ahahaha
2. im not looking great, im looking confused and with a real bad hang over, having “last night regrets” or something of the sort
3. i didnt know about luciana and i guess its kinda odd if i drop a “oh, im sorry thats bad” kinda thing now because you are evidently over it, right?? well i hope it was for the better and you are fine… i didnt know her well and i think i hardly ever saw u with her so i cant say any cheesy lines like “it was for the better” (acho q hj e cliche night in connie land)
4. who is she, where did she come from, spill spill spill….. im still dating the same guy, dont know if u know him or ive mentioned him…. vicente and vitor met him…. we’ve been together for like a year and ten months (yes, almost a record) things are good, not great, not fantastic, just good…. we kinda reached a point were we both have different priorities and sometimes makes the relationship walk on a tight rope… mais sei la… so far im handling it very well, but we all know connie, no segundo que eu acho q eu vou get hurt i break up, disappear and move on… im just trying not to do it this time because he is really special to me and i dont wanna fuck things up like every single freaking other relationship i had… been down the cheating/lying/crying/hating road too many times… want to make it right …. agh… sei la…..
5. thats sooooo cool about college…. i wanna get it over with soon too… mas ainda tenho 2 more years, eu comecei no major errado but luckily realized that when i had only done one year of business… so i changed, agora tou majoring em media and im taking the risk of having a second major in journalism…. i started working for the unis magazine (it was dead and we kinda reanimated it) and it was such a great experience and project that it really got me going…. i wanna get trhough with the whole studying thing and start working (u cant work and study in my uni, its full time aannndddd they kinda threaten u to trhow u out if they catch u… its complete bullshit i know… its argie)
6. yes, cesar. you probably saw him. hes a big shot now… obvio, i leave the country and he’s famous ahahaha
7. an extra one…. tou indo pro brasil.. i can never promise anything because my parents have me on a tight rope, they dont like me going out alone and they have the freaking driver on a really tight scheadule…mesmo assim, im letting you know cuz i would LOVE to meet up and have a coffee and just chat…. we havent seen each other in like 3 years but still i have this connection with u that i can sit here and spill u my life and not feel awkward about it sabe???
eu chego dia 2 em sp.. mas vou no dia seguinte pro rio, off course carnaval is a must in my life as always… all the dressing up and not being a freak is lovely…
mas volto pra sampa dia 10 e fico ate 16…. so we have 6 full days to meet… let me know when is better for u and all..
miss u too
ahahaha long email como sempre
take care
and reaaaaally nice to hear from u
besitos
C
You’re Gone
Taking steps back through the words
I should have said to you
they all got lost you went away
and i feel sick and you just don’t care anymore anymore
hours to be with you
minutes of me in you
and i can’t feel this happening so tie my hands back and make me feel you
coming down
coming down
and you don’t care
your face is on a billboard
and your everywhere
you don’t care much for interviews
your gone your gone your gone your gone
your gone your gone your gone your gone away
if you don’t like being hurt then please don’t stay
its hard to wave goodbye
from aeroplanes when i
just don’t think that you can see
I taper off
and say its never worth the pain
some time it is
and you don’t care
your face is on a billboard
and your everywhere
you don’t care much for interviews
your gone your gone your gone your gone
your gone your gone your gone your gone away
if you don’t like being hurt then please don’t stay
if you don’t like being hurt then please don’t stay
gotta wish that i could make this ride wish
that there was something worth the time for her to give to me
a phone call from LA is my present
there is nothing left for me to give
I wish I could
and I know that I should
but you know I know I won’t
Never Again
i woke up in a dream today to the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor forgot all about yesterday remembering i`m pretending to be where i`m not anymore a little taste of hypocrisy and i`m left in the wake of the mistake slow to react even though you`re so close to me you`re still so distant and i can`t bring you back it`s true the way i feel was promised by your face the sound of your voice painted on my memories even if you`re not with me i`m with you you, now i see, keeping everything inside you, now i see, even when i close my eyes i hit you and you hit me back we fall to the floor the rest of the day stands still fine line between this and that when things go wrong i pretend the past isn`t real now i`m trapped in this memory and i`m left in the wake of the mistake slow to react even though you`re close to me you`re still so distant and i can`t bring you back
cant be assed to press enter in between lines
KILL ME PILLS
Andrew Largeman: And you know what, I’m not gonna take those drugs anymore, because they just left me feeling numb. I have felt SO FUCKING NUMB to everything in my entire life. And for that… I’m here to forgive YOU.
Un Pacto para (sobre)vivir
Un pacto para vivir,
odiandonos sol a sol,
revolviendo masen los restos de un amor con un camino recto,
a la desesperación.
Desenlacé en un cuento de terror,
Seis años así
escapando a un mismo lugar con mi fantasía,
buscando otro cuerpo,
otra voz
fui consumiendo infiernos,
para salir de vos,
Intoxicado, loco y sin humor…
oooooohh – oooohhhhoooh – oooh
Si hoy te tuviera aquí,
cuando hago esta canción,
me sentiría raro,
no tengo sueño,
mi panza vibra,
tuve un golpe energético,
milagro y resurreccióny eso que estaba tieso,
bajo control
El poder siempre mata,
si para tenerte aqui
habría que maltratarte
no puedo hacerlo
sos mi Dios
te veo me sonrojo y tiemblo
que idiota te hace el amor,
y hoy quiero darle rienda,
a esta superstición
un pacto para vivir,
un pacto para viviiiiiiir
un pacto para vivir
I just want you on my lap.
im feeling numb, so goddamn numb..
can someone make it go away??
dad left today… that means, GIRLS DAY IN ahahah
Aiiii
maybe it`s because i`m too fucking drunk
or maybe too fucking high
but you just feel irresistble tonight
